The author offers her perspective on dating non-Black men in this revisited May 2014 article as one who likes all men of all stripes

I will be A black colored woman whom dates the “rainbow.” In the event that you place every guy I became a part of in the last decade into one room (that team includes random dates, relationships, situationships and that one time i acquired married), youd have the perfect, multihued bouquet of masculine beauty. A sort, smart guy whom moves me personally, might possibly rock beside me, aside from battle or ethnicity. Im perhaps not on that absurd color-blind train; Im simply an equal-opportunity dater.

Most my Ebony girlfriends solely and purposely date Black males, thus I have plenty of questions regarding my UN-friendly dating roster and nearly all of those concerns are in regards to the white dudes. “Is it pink?” “Are you sure its not some jungle temperature type thing?” “Has he seen Love Jones?” The answers to those relevant questions hinges on the guy—could be tan, red or some combination. Only one time had been it a fetish thing on the inventors end, and I deaded that the moment I happened to be conscious. Seeing movies that are specific perhaps not a dating requirement of me. You better know and love Stevie ponder, however. Thats life immediately.

Then there are 2 unpleasant statements that we frequently hear. The foremost is, “Im so tired of these black colored men. Ina moment, Im planning to end up like you and find a White child.” Ugh.

We find this become problematic because everything about it is incorrect. You must never date some body of the race that is certain you are feeling exhausted because of the antics of males of another battle. Its perhaps not fair towards the Ebony girl, the White dude or Black men. There are lots of good Ebony males out there. The real deal. Guys within my family members, my circle of buddies and loves that are past to that particular. If youre running into Black dudes who’re perhaps not worth 25 %, their behavior is certainly not some genetic issue pertaining to their cultural history, they simply arent the inventors for you personally, for just about any range other reasons.

The White guy receives the end that is short of stick for the reason that situation, too, because hes a sucka-ass plan B and doesnt even comprehend it. The Black girl loses because shes perhaps maybe not handling the issues that are real play a role in her dating dilemmas.

One other statement that is troubling have from my Black girlfriends regarding dating White dudes is, “Youre the kind of Black woman White dudes like. White men arent interested in me.” Chile, stop it. When there is a very important factor i am aware about heterosexual males, it is the fact that no matter their real choices, at the end of your day they simply like women. Ive seen White guys by having a variety that is wide of ladies.

I’m a thin, Harlem-residing, Detroit-born, masters degree-having 34-year-old divorced Ebony girl whose passport is on pimpin. When buddies state Im the “type” White guys like, they have been mostly talking about my little framework, education and breadth of travel. Nonetheless, i will be maybe not a boy whisperer that is white. There’s nothing about me personally that produces me a “safe” Black chick for White dudes to holler at. The stark reality is that We have a really active social life in a diverse town, and we usually find myself in spaces filled up with guys of numerous racial, ethnic and nationality backgrounds. My dating roster reflects those social encounters.

Nearly all of my girlfriends whom speak about being tired of Ebony dudes, aren’t being entirely severe. They arent planning to abandon men that are blackwe havent, either). They have been simply considering dipping their toes into something new. But extending into interracial relationship territory is not one thing to complete being an “I hate you a great deal right type that is now” of art test toward Ebony guys. Also, regardless of the insane and extremely chatter that is wrong just black colored men are interested in Black ladies, attention from non-Black males is certainly not some sort of extra validation of A ebony womans beauty.

Black colored women can be stunning, period.

Having said that, interracial relationships arent for everyone, and thats fine. We date interracially, but Im perhaps perhaps not distributing the gospel of United Colors of Benetton dating. Do this if it you prefer. Dont get it done if youre not inclined to. Simple. Theres nothing wrong with Ebony women sticking with Black guys or vice versa. You should be clear with who you really are and exactly why you prefer whom you want.